Recovery Status

It’s been 12 days since I finished chemo and radiation. I won’t lie to you, people, it’s been a rough 12 days.

Recovery from the chemo was better, and worse, than my other sessions. It was better in that I was able to stay hydrated this time because of the feeding tube in my belly. Every day, no matter how badly I felt, I made sure I ingested at least 6-8 cups of water through the tube. That made a significant difference in my recovery. I didn’t get dehydrated like last time and, thus, avoided the hospital.

It was worse this time around because the nausea hit me immediately. The last two times, I had a 2-3 day wait before the meds wore off and I felt sick. This time, I was sick the same day and it didn’t relent for over a week. I vomited several times a day.

To top it off, the radiation side effects reached their peak at this time. My throat and esophagus were so traumatized from the radiation that the pain was a constant companion. Additionally, the wounds in my throat “seeped” slime and mucus, causing me to gag every few minutes, thereby increasing the likelihood that I would vomit.

I have to carry a cup around with me, because the thick mucus and healing seepage can’t be swallowed else I will vomit. I look like a redneck with a dip cup. It’s so disgusting. My salivary glands haven’t kicked back in yet – but I still make mucus. I didn’t know that mucus and saliva are two separate things. Without saliva to dilute it, the mucus is so thick and nasty that it grosses me out to even think about it.

As you can imagine, I haven’t had a fun week. As I predicted, I did lose weight. I dropped to 155lbs. I have a 29inch waist now – amazing. My skin is hanging from me, though; I now know what they mean when they refer to someone as a “bag of bones.”

The good news is that I turned a corner yesterday. My throat, while still painfully letting me know that it’s healing, has stopped “seeping” quite so much. I still have thick mucus, but the “green” seepage is starting to go away.

Also, I’ve started eating more through my tube again. As I recovered from chemo, I was lucky to get four cans of the tube feeding formula in me a day – the doctors want me to have seven. I’m back up to five cans.

I went to my oncologist yesterday for a followup. My blood counts are, of course, in the toilet. I need to be very careful for the next few weeks until they climb back up again. The doctor examined me and was very pleased with my status, but told me I needed a few more weeks of recovery before I could return to work. He’s worried about my general weakness, my throat issues, and of course my blood counts.

So, although I had tentatively hoped to go back to work in a week, it looks like it will be 3-4 more weeks of disability. I am not happy; I am stir crazy, but I know it’s for the best. I was so worn out just from going to the doctor yesterday that I fell asleep in the car on the way home.

I get a new set of PET scans and MRI scans in about 8 weeks. My oncologist is confident we dealt with the cancer, but these scans will definitely confirm that. Of course, I’ll be getting these scans every 90 days for a while – but I have high hopes that it will be, as my doctor said, another 38 years before we have to deal with this again.

Best Muppet Sketch Ever

Carey found this and posted it on Facebook a couple of weeks ago. Ever since, I watch it at least once a day. I don’t know why, but I can’t get that tune out of my head and it makes me smile every time I watch it. I hope you enjoy!

Then, I stumbled on a STAR WARS version, using the Mahna Mahna song by Cake. I love this!

By the way, I learned to play this on my guitar today! Here’s the guitar tablature for it:


[Mahna Mahna]
e|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
G|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
D|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|---6--5--4--2------------------------------------------------------------|


[]
e|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|----------8--------------------------------------------------------------|
G|--7--10------9-----------------------------------------------------------|
D|----------------10-------------------------------------------------------|
A|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
mahna mahna again

[]
e|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|--------------8----------------------------------------------------------|
G|---7----10--------9------------------------------------------------------|
D|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
mahna mahna

[last riff]
e|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
B|----------8--------------------------------------------------------------|
G|--7--10------9------8 9-----8 9----8 9-----------------------------------|
D|----------------10-------10----10------10---7--------10 10 10 10 10------|
A|------------------------------------------------10----7--7--8--8--7------|
E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|


[first solo (guitar)]
e|-------------------------------8--8---7---1---5-6-5----3-----------------|
B|-------------------------6/8--10-10---8---3---6---6----5-----------------|
G|---------------7-9-10----------------------------------------------------|
D|-----7-9-10--------------------------------------------------------------|
A|-10----------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|


[second solo]
e|----------8----12---10----8--8-7-7---------------------------------------|
B|-------8---------------------------10---8---8---10---8-------------------|
G|-----9---------------------------------------------------9---------------|
D|--10---------------------------------------------------------------------|
A|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|
E|-------------------------------------------------------------------------|

Transcript of Obama’s Inauguration

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Full transcript as prepared for delivery of President Barack Obama’s inaugural remarks on Jan. 20, 2009, at the United States Capitol in Washington, D.C.

My fellow citizens:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.

Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace. Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.

That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.

These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land – a nagging fear that America’s decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.

Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many.

They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America – they will be met. On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted – for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things – some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.

For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.

For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.

For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn. Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.

This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions – that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.

For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act – not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology’s wonders to raise health care’s quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions – who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them – that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works – whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public’s dollars will be held to account – to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day – because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control – and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our Gross Domestic Product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart – not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our Founding Fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience’s sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.

Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort – even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus – and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect.

To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society’s ills on the West – know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.

To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world’s resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.

As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages.

We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment – a moment that will define a generation – it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.

For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter’s courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent’s willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends – hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism – these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility – a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

This is the price and the promise of citizenship.

This is the source of our confidence – the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.

This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed – why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.

So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America’s birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:

“Let it be told to the future world…that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive…that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet [it].”

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God’s grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.

Obama’s Inauguration Speech

I was moved to tears by President Barack Obama’s Inauguration Speech. I can’t express how deeply he moved me – how he rekindled my patriotism. This man, this leader, is exactly who we need at this point in history.

The 44th President of the United States has a big job ahead of him. If he can continue to provide such inspired and idealistic leadership I know he’ll be equal to the task.

I’ll post more thoughts once I review the speech. The first viewing was the emotional one. This was not a transition of power; it’s the beginning of a transformation of our nation.

Best line of the speech: “We reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.”

Wow.

Writing Honestly

I’m sitting here on the couch watching the Inauguration Ceremony for Obama and stumbling through random web pages. A few minutes ago I stumbled on a poem about Inauguration Day and Barack Obama.

I read the poem. Aside from being forced in some verses, the words painfully and awkwardly shoved into the rhyme scheme to create the poem, it’s obvious that this author likes to write. If you look at his site, he’s fairly prolific and likes his poetry. (by the way – all of us poets struggle with the balance between awkward phrasing and meeting the scheme requirements of a poem)

Still, this poem annoyed me. I re-read it. On my third read I finally understood what the problem was. The poem was dishonest.

The viewpoint presented in the poem was that no man deserves to have such adulation and “worship” the way Barack Obama does. It implies that change cannot happen in our nation because of this undeserved hero worship. The poem states that everyone deserves a parade – not just the President.

Also in the poem it religiously drops God’s name and, by association, Jesus. So, in one poem the author implicitly agrees that one man (a man he approves of) should get parades and attention (we celebrate Christmas in his honor after all) and yet another man should not have a parade. By celebrating Barack Obama we demean the rest of the world but it’s OK to celebrate Jesus.

This led me to comment in a rather cavalier fashion on his blog about his apparent dishonesty. In truth, I should have waited to gather my thoughts – my comment was unfair because it did not explain itself. It was nothing more than a minor flame.

The point of the comment though, was that I could not enjoy this poem because it was so obviously dishonest. It contradicted itself. Dishonest writing insults your readers.

Readers are able to discern, to read between the lines. When an author is dishonest the reader feels cheated. I’m not talking just about contradictions within the writing itself. It takes a lot of skill to write true “Devil’s Advocate” believable. If you’re not careful, your readers will note the deception and learn to very quickly question what you say.

Trust with a reader, once broken, is almost impossible to regain.

So, authors, write what you know. Avoid contradictions. Be honest.

Wedding Show Discrimination

Why do women get to have so much fun with wedding planning while men have to sit the entire thing out? Carey and I had a humorous exchange the other day when she walked up to me and said, “There’s a wedding show in a couple of weeks. I just bought tickets for me and my girlfriend.”



I smiled, pretended to listen, and kept playing my video game.

A couple of minutes later it sunk in. I looked up from the screen and told Carey I wanted to go.

“Why didn’t you buy me a ticket, honey?”

She looked flustered, “But. . . it’s a wedding show.”

I nodded, “Yeah. And? What am I; chopped liver? I do believe you’re not the only one with a wedding coming up.”

“Well, I didn’t think you’d want to go. I went to one with my girlfriend when she was getting married and the husband didn’t go.”

I sighed patiently, “Why? Was he intentionally left out like I am, apparently?”

“Because it will be filled with girly stuff, dresses and lace, and such. It’s not geared towards men.”

I decided to be disagreeable, because there are times when you just have to. “You mean to tell me that there will be nothing there for a groom-to-be? You know this as fact?”

“Well I don’t know, Ron.” When she uses my first name she’s annoyed at me. “This is something the girls do.”

I waggled my XBox controller at her, “You’re going to feel like shit when you get there and see all the guys there. You’ll realize you left me out of a part of our wedding planning.”

Thoroughly discombobulated, she went back to the website for the show and came back a few minutes later. “Honey; it says here there will be a guy room! A room for the bored men to hang out in and stuff. You can go!”

I shook my head and kept playing my game, “Nah – those shows aren’t for me. You go and have a good time with your friends.”

I never saw the hand that hit me squarely on the back of my head…..

Weapons of Deli Destruction

I am finding it more and more ridiculous that people are getting arrested on armed assault charges where the weapon is a SANDWICH.

Read this. Or this.

Only in Florida. I don’t see these stories coming up in other states. Florida seems to have lost it’s damned mind. How in the world can a taco, bagel, or sandwich be construed as a weapon?

To be charged with assault for tossing a bagel at someone is just the beginning, people. You realize that if you toss a clean shirt to someone it can be assault? What about tossing a football to a buddy who is annoyed at you? Assault.



Flick a bee off your shirt and have it hit someone else? Your ass is in jail buddy.

Very shortly, the sound waves of an argument will constitute a weapon and you will be jailed for assault. For talking.

Arrest records for food assault. Craziness. What is this world coming to?

I Emerge from Round 1 Victorious!



Today was a banner day; I finished chemotherapy and I finished radiation therapy. It’s been one hell of a ride, and it’s not really over yet, but it feels wonderful to have this behind me.


What can I expect now?

  • I need about a month to recover from my treatments.
    My throat is so sore and swollen that even
    swallowing water is a chore. I can talk in short bursts, but extended conversation is beyond me at the moment. I need about 4 weeks to recover from chemotherapy. Right about the last week of January my blood counts will plummet and I’ll be at high risk for infection. It takes about 2 weeks to get back to normal after that.

  • I need to continue trying to regain my strength and weight.
    I weigh 165-pounds at the moment. I think I’ll shoot for an ideal 175-180-pounds. That won’t happen easily; since I had chemo today it will be a week or two before I’ll start really eating again (if you can call tube feeding eating). I can expect to drop weight as a
    result of this chemo – I wouldn’t be surprised if I hit 155-pounds.

    Also, my strength is gone. I have not only lost most of my fat, I have lost a lot of muscle. So, in a couple of weeks I need to start light exercise. This will be good in so many way – it will build my endurance, help me heal, build my strength, and increase my appetite. I am looking forward to it. I’ll start with walking and very light resistance training I think. I need to do some research and fortunately I have a physical terrorist in the family who can point me in the right direction.

  • In 10 weeks I go in for more scans
    This is where we find out if it was all worth it or not. I will get full-body PET scans to see if any cancer is visible. I feel like I got it all with this round of treatment, and am very hopeful. This process will be repeated every90 days for the first year and then go to every 180 days. The goal is to be cancer-free for 5 years, upon which time they can
    declare me “cured.”

    There’s no silver bullet here that will put the unease to rest. PET scans have a resolution limit so microscopic cancer cells won’t show in the scan – hence the reason to be checked every 90 days. As much as I would like to walk away and say “I’m done” I am in this for life. I need to be ever-vigilant going forward.



  • I return to work
    Based on where I am today I feel that mid-February will be my return to work date. I can’t tell you how much I am
    looking forward to that day.

  • I live my life
    I’ve tried very hard through these treatments to not stop living. I have been bed-ridden, hospitalized, isolated, and lonely; but I have used the time to examine myself, what I want from life, where I want to go, grow closer to my family, and learn to love more truly and more deeply. I haven’t been idle – but I an aching to return to a more normal life where I can go to work, cook dinners, EAT dinners, go surfing, take my telescope out to see the stars, etc.

Today was a banner day, as I said, but it’s also kind of scary. As long as I was doing daily treatments to battle my cancer I felt like I was making progress. Now the battle is over, but I have that uncertainty that I got it – the enemy may be hiding behind that hill there, waiting to flank me. I’ve entered the cautious wait phase and I need to learn to adjust to it.

Thank you all for your support, prayers, and the positive energy you sent my way. It’s not over, and I’ll keep you updated as I go, but we can all sit back and breath for a moment now.

Wedding and Reception Booked

Carey and I had an appointment this mornng with Leu Gardens to reserve our wedding and reception. Yes; we’re having the wedding and reception both at Leu Gardens! Sunday October 11th, 2009 at 10:00am! It’s all very exciting.


The wedding will take place under the great oak tree in front of the plantation/museum house.



It’s really beautiful there; you get such a great feel for “old” Florida. However, you know how unpredictable the weather is in Florida. Should a hurricane or storm come through on the day of our wedding, we will be forced to move indooors. Fortunately, Leu Gardens has a very nice “alternate” site for inclement-weather weddings:



We’re also having our reception at Leu Gardens. We’ve reserved the Camellia Room for our reception. It’s a gorgeous room, overlooking the lake and the gardens.




Like I said; it’s all very exciting. We’re going to have a great wedding and reception. Soon, we’ll start planning a honeymoon!

Foods I Crave

I am in the last week of my treatments, so I feel like I see the light at the end of the tunnel. It will be some weeks, maybe months, before my sense of taste returns but already my mouth virtualy waters at the thought.


I have a list of foods I am craving and thought I’d share them:


Sesame Bagel, toasted with cream cheese.


Popeye’s Jalepeno Mashed Potatoes



Krystal’s Cheeseburgers



Little Ceasar’s Crazy Bread




Larkin’s Subs (local Orlando sub shop)



Skyline’s 3-Way Chili



Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough



Cinammon Sugar Pretzel



I could keep going, but my tummy is rumbling and I’m only torturing myself by going through the list.

When I can finally tatse again, I’m going to have one week of complete decadence. I can’t wait – I invite you all to join in the festivities!