I hate the vampires in my attic. You wouldn’t associate a tourist town like Orlando with vampires, but they live here. Well, they’ve lived in my house since the 1970’s. I’ve never actually seen them, but they leave signs. Little ones, but easy to spot once you know they are there. I was just a […]
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A Single Wish
January 22, 2007 
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A Single Wish I was watchinglate-night Television;lost in a catatonic momentsomewherebetween a commercial formale enhancementand a rerun ofSeinfeldwhen awaking dreamfantasyimaginingplayed out inmy mind’s eye I rubbed a lampand the jinni emergedthat spirit of thedeserta wasteland my heart hadrecently inhabitedto offer me a singlewishmy choices weremanyand I pondered them severelyeternal life might be niceor perfect health […]
Continue readingSpank, spank, handcuffs!
January 20, 2007 0 Comments
The California state legislature is about to vote on an issue that could affect parents across the nation; is it legal to spank your child? The bill, still being drafted, would prohibit “any striking of a child, any corporal punishment, smacking, hitting, punching, any of that,” according to Assemblywoman Sally Lieber. The consequence of this […]
Continue readingI don’t care how you pee . . .
January 19, 2007 1 Comment
So I’m at the urinal this morning, doing my business, when a gentlemen enters the restroom and takes the urinal next to me. He’s obviously uncomfortable with the whole “I’m peeing and you’re standing next to me” thing. Didn’t matter that there was that little wall between him and I so I couldn’t see his […]
Continue reading10 Things You NEVER Want to Feel
January 3, 2007 0 Comments
Stoicism is my best friend. I know I’ve been MIA for a while, people, but I figure it’s beter than subjecting the teeming masses with my moodiness. I’m still deep in recovery; it takes time you know. I was always the “brooding poet” – but I still haven’t figured out how to say goodbye to […]
Continue readingCount The Licks
November 1, 2006 2 Comments
So I am sitting here at work when my 9-year-old son pops up in GTalk and made my afternoon. I was so tickled by this: Christopher: Hey daddy Ron: hi buddy Christopher: guess what Ron: what? Christopher: Have you wondered how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie […]
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The Binary Biker 